I Didn't See the Do Not Cross Sign

All I can really say at this point is that I believe you, Lord. I believe what you said that if I would only believe I would see the glory of God. I believe and I am walking by faith and not by sight. But I have to tell you that everything that I see in the flesh with these two weak eyes is telling me that there is no hope and all is lost. Everything that I see with these two weak and weeping eyes is that there is no love for me and nobody really cares about how I am feeling or, much less, what is happening here, right now for me and to me. Yes, I can feel like a victim which I swore that I would never do or never be. Why at this late hour of my life do I feel like I could drown in a sorrow that is deeper than any river...deeper than any ocean? And in this state of solitude and absolute loneliness why do I feel that I really don't want to talk to anybody and at the same time I want to scream at the top of my voice...Help me? Why is it that I feel no one can? A Pastor once told me that he heard within his spirit that this was an issue between me and God and that he was told to not. Somebody please tell me why does that sound so wrong right now in this time of trouble?

I need to know you, Lord. I need to know what is this terrible place that I have stumbled unknowingly into where there is no help from mankind? What barrier did I cross that I didn't know that I was not supposed to cross? I'm sorry, Lord, but I did not see the DO NOT CROSS sign. And now that I have crossed this hidden and secret place why do I feel myself sinking quickly in this quicksand? I'm sorry, Lord, I did not see the DO NOT CROSS sign.

So I ask you to forgive me, oh Lord, for all of my imperfections. Forgive me for wanting to serve you in any way possible and for having eyes that really see the pain of others and a desire to speak for those that can not speak for themselves, the old folks, the children, the battered and abused. Fogive me for appreciating your goodness and wanting to speak boldly of your grace and your mercy to those that don't know you and haven't been able to find you. Forgive me for wanting to share the truth of the gospel. The same gospel that testifies to your healing, restoring and providing power. Forgive me Lord because I love you and I know that somebody needs to know just who exactly you are.

And because I know that you have forgiven me for saying, "Yes, Lord!" it really is time for me to say thank you. Thank for holding my hand when I didn't know which way to go or which way was right and how come. Thank you for being my eyes to see this incredible journey that I am in the midst of because I know that you will never leave me or forsake me even when it is dark and the mystery is beyond my understanding.

Debi Mason, Author

Spoken Word Ministries